July 5, 2023 · Source: Medium
Dear Future..
You and the moon beside me always,
Voice4
Lyric intensity5
The line4
Mind under feeling2
Held shape7
Literary mean 4.4 / 10
Highlights
Best: "We can keep each other tame just like cocaine.
Voice
Slant rhyme and repetition create a distinct, weary but hopeful balladry.
Lyric intensity
Concrete specificities like "Lasagna from Theos" and "stale dal" ground it.
Mind under feeling
Remains in descriptive longing; lacks a critical interrogation of the fantasy.
Held shape
Successful progression from domestic mundanity to generational legacy and closure.
Continue on Medium.
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